NEW? Start Here!

Pandora’s Story So Far


I never though I’d write one of these pages.  I never figured that I’d even continue this blog for any length of time, nor did I suppose that it might actually be read by more than about five people.  But I did continue, and it is read by more than about five people, and for new people happening upon it – well, it must be a bit of a labyrinth to navigate.

So, I figured it might be a good idea to add this page with some of the hitherto key posts for any new readers that may find themselves a wee bit lost.  As ever, feel free to contact me if you need any help.

On every other page on this blog, you’ll find that internal links open in the same window, but for ease of navigation, any on this page only open separately.

You will probably want to start by reading the ‘About the Author‘ page, and since I talk about other people a lot, ‘The Ensemble‘ might be worth reading for contextual purposes.  The ‘Alter Ego‘ pages and ‘Family Tree‘ can wait, but are always useful if you want more background information.  Some of them are password-protected, thanks to my paranoia that my family may have found the blog.

If you don’t understand some of the terms and/or acronyms I use, ‘A Mentalist’s Glossary‘ tries to explain them. Feel free to leave a comment there if there’s something you think should be included.

From here on, I’ll take this chronologically. Jump to 2009, 2010 or 2011.


May 2009

June 2009

  • Wills and Spills – Incensed and Need Advice – although this is really a bit of an angry rant, I include this as it provides context for later discussion on my father’s will.
  • I Love Psychiatry! – my report of the appointment wherein I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, type II.  This was also the appointment wherein I was first prescribed the dreaded Venlafaxine.

July 2009

August 2009

September 2009

October 2009

November 2009

December 2009


January 2010

February 2010

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 2010

July 2010

  • Dear Mr Member of Parliament… – with the Trust’s failure to respond to my earlier letter, and their continued incompetence, I decided to involve my MP and other politicians in the matter.

August 2010

  • World War III – my mother has a massive fall-out with her sister, the wife of my childhood abuser, leading me to question whether or not I should tell her (my mother) about the abuse.
  • Stunned Gratitude – my second major blog award.
  • Mad Up – my account of the meeting of a large group of mental health bloggers, many of whom had been (and are) instrumental to my writing here, and many of whom are important friends in my life.
  • The Final Countdown: The Eve of the End of Therapy – having failed in my battle to secure continued treatment with C – though not in my overall battle, which as of September is ongoing – I muse on the finality of the event.
  • New “Counsellor”? – a surprisingly quick response from a local charity who offer counselling to those affected by sexual abuse.

September 2010

October 2010

November 2010

December 2010


January 2011

  • Advocacy Meeting Non-Fail? – I finally met a mental health advocate to assist me in my quest for adequate therapy, over a year after seeking the services of such a person.

February 2011

  • Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics – an examination of just how severely depressed I still am well after having my most recent breakdown.
  • Here We Go Again… – another whinge about NHS failings, this time their failure to issue my medical notes within the requirements of the Data Protection Act.
March 2011
April 2011
  • Bye Bye, Borderline! – here I discussed how I can no longer be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
May 2011
June 2011
  • The Wrong Side of the Road – a post on how, thanks to both medication and therapy, I felt that I had made a good recovery.
  • To BPD or not to BPD? – another post outlining my recovery from BPD, as noted by my CPN and psychiatrist both.
  • Psychology vs Therapy, and Being Burgled (AGAIN) – in which I discuss C’s good and bad points, the same for Paul, and how I feel that the latter has been much more helpful to me. Also, a quick look at the nastiness of a second burglary of our house.
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
  • Somebody Killed My Cat – a tribute to my little kitty, Ms Cat, who was killed on the road that day. Also a brief look at how her death had affected me.
  • Mind Media Awards 2011 – to my utter astonishment, I was shortlisted for a prestigious Mind Media Award.
October 2011
  • Change of Diagnosis – an appointment in which Christine, my CPN, told me that she reckoned my consultant did not think I had BPD. Apparently, they’re “90%” sure that I have bipolar affective disorder with psychotic features (the dysphoric manic type I, though with predominately depressive features. There is a small question mark of schizoaffective disorder, too).
  • World Mental Health Day 2011 – here I explore some of the positive reactions I’ve received to my openness about my mental health difficulties…
  • The Darker Side of Speaking Up – …and here I examine some of the more hostile or uncomfortable reactions my mentalist-related disclosures have led to, but also acknowledge that awareness of mental illness is moving in the right direction.


4 thoughts on “NEW? Start Here!

  1. Great idea Pan, even though I’ve read quite a few of these posts I’m going to go over them again (I’m not addicted to your blog or anything…mmhhmmm lol) I find them SO helpful especially one right now and I find myself facing a somewhat simular situation, and am getting some answers I need 🙂 Keep goin’, all my lovie and hugs to you!

  2. Thank you for sharing & being so open and blunt. You speak to me because I have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar II, chronic depression (over 20 yrs) and a concerning case of Akathisia., As is the anxiety & pain & teats & all the rest that goes with this “disorder” isnt enough, 2 nights ago I experienced loss of breath caused by something obstructing my throat, It happened 4 times and each set off a panic attack. The next morning I was so desperate to get rid of this obstruction, I coughed, hacked, stuck fingers down my throat in hopes of pulling the obstruction out. Nothing was expelled except a ton of blood. I went to my family doc who gave me a medicated gargle to help heal the damage I caused. I was furious & humiliated that he couldn’t see what I felt. I immediately went to the hospital only to be told the same. This was caused by a panic attack. It terrifies me that I could inflict this pain in the name of panic and that none of it was real. I feel as though I am on the verge of losing my mind which terrifies me more and increases every symptom of Akathisia. The cycle seems never ending. I am under close care with a family doc, therapist & a psychiatrist. It is a never ending routine of appts and drugs that are forever changing as we struggle to find the right cocktail. HOPELESS comes to mind..OFTEN. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

  3. I’m new here. I was reading one of your posts, and then there was a link, and I wanted to follow it before I finished the post, and so I did, and then there was another link which I wanted to follow before I finished reading that post, so I did, but then there was another link that I wanted to follow in that post before I had finished reading it and now I am very very tired and thought to myself ‘Where do I start?!’. And then I saw this tab ‘NEW? Start here!’ BUT IT’S FULL OF LINKS! And now I am scared. So many links. I want to see where they all lead, now. Right now. I’m going to give it a go. If I don’t finish packing for my overnight trip to Bristol, I am blaming ALL THE LINKS.

    • Welcome 🙂

      I’ve got a little better over the years 🙂 When I first started writing, I linked to anything that was even vaguely un-obvious. Now, I only link externally to sites where I think there’s more info, but I link to all previous posts referred to for the sake of reference. Links on this page open in new tabs/windows so you can refer back, as do any external links. But yeah, it’s rather overwhelming 😉 Take me to Bristol with you!

      Enjoy (*coughs*) – and good to have you on board!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s