Felt it was about time I got one of these done, what with more people finding their way here.

This Blog is Not Suitable for Children.

I suppose I could say ‘if you’re under 18 (16?), please don’t read this blog’, but if my experience is anything to go by, that would just encourage you. So I simply say that what I write here deals with very adult themes, and I swear a lot – of that you have now been warned. That said, whilst the material is adult, I do write about issues that could affect children and young people – namely, child sexual abuse. I therefore don’t want anyone to feel that they have to ‘go away’ if any of that material is in some way useful for them. I’d suggest that if you’re in this position you contact the NSPCC for help and information. You are also very welcome to contact me, if you feel that that would be helpful. If you are reading this and have been/are being abused, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You absolutely do not deserve what has happened/is happening to you. Please get help.

I Am Not a Doctor. I Am Not a Nurse. I Am a Nothing.

If you’ve read any of this blog so far, even if you are a dead amoeba, you will know this…but nevertheless: I AM NOT A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. I CANNOT OFFER PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC ADVICE.

Well, wasn’t that a revelation?

Please Contact Someone Qualified if You’re in Psychological Pain.

Seriously, if you are in psychological or emotional distress, and are in danger, talk to someone. If you cannot talk to a friend or family member, contact the Samaritans on 08457 909 909 (or the equivalent in your country). Read this, if even only to distract yourself.

If you feel that any suicidal action is imminent, call 999 for an ambulance or get a taxi to your nearest accident and emergency.

If you’re in despair but your situation is not this urgent, please see your GP and enquire about a referral to a therapist and/or psychiatrist.

Now, that’s enough patronising on that subject, let’s try the Pretentious-Except-Not-At-All Pretentious ‘On My Writing of This Blog’ bit.

If You Have a Problem With It, Don’t Read It.

This is an honest, absolutely no-holds-barred journal.

If you can’t tolerate rants, discussion on difficult and/or controversial topics, swearing or bitter, raw honesty – do not read what I write. I am, in general, a remarkably passive person in ‘real life’ (though I’ll admit to the swearing bit ;)), and to that end I use this blog as an outlet for a great deal of frustrations. It’s all so borderline, isn’t it?! Actually, that’s part of the point. I am not some sort of raging inferno in reality – in fact in most circumstances I’m listlessly and mind-numbingly nice – so you may find that I often seem bitterly furious here instead. If you have a problem with it, don’t read it.

I also don’t shy away from anything. There are searingly honest and graphic accounts of a lot of dark, complex or societally taboo subjects on this blog, be they child sex abuse, bullying, sex, suicide, relationships, self-harm, whatever. Again: if you have a problem with it, don’t read it. If you don’t have a problem with it, but are at risk of being triggered, please at least read with caution, or come back at another time.

If You Think It’s You, It Really Isn’t.

All people on this blog are anonymised. If you see someone you think is you, it ain’t. No, honestly C, those posts in 2009 or 2010 weren’t about you. It’s another C. Those letters to the Trust? Um…er…I…I…I plagiarised them! That’s right. I ripped them off. I am not really her that you treated. Or something. It’s nothing to do with me and there’s nothing to see here, C…move along now…

No, Paul, nothing to do with you either. Not that Nexus, you silly man. Oh wait…the website I’ve linked to is that Nexus? Er…it was an error. Yeah. Silly me. Get in the queue behind C, Paul, and move along now…

Seriously. I’ve made every effort to anonymise people, and a lot of what I write (especially dialogue) is paraphrased. Everything here is true, but within those confines of accuracy there’s occasional employment of dramatic licence, embellishment or exaggeration in my narrative in order to make dull things seem interesting – even though that endeavour almost certainly fails.

Given how many people use the internet, and given the relative thereto very small number of people that are actually involved in my life, if you see someone who sounds like you within these bloggy walls it really probably isn’t. If you have a reasonable and honestly-held view that it is you, and you have an objection to same, please contact me.

I Wrote This Stuff, So I Own This Stuff – Capiche?

Even though this is an anonymous blog, I cannot bear you plagiarising my shit. So any quoting of what’s here must be attributed to me, and under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988, I retain all copyright to anything and everything that is written here. Also see the Creative Commons licence at the bottom of the sidebar; this of course applies too. I really do quite like all the time and effort I’ve put into writing this blog and wouldn’t like some un-nice person to take it away from me, now would I?

Comments Policy.

Please see this page regarding my replies to others’ comments. I used to reply to them all, but I am much less good at it than I used to be; it certainly does not mean I’m ignoring you or haven’t read what you’ve been good enough to say. I love getting comments and every single one is read and considered.

So yes – I welcome comments, and I even welcome critical ones as long as they are constructive. However, any personal attacks on me, those discussed in my writing or other commentators won’t be tolerated. I’d like to say I’ll come round to your house and throw a tub of lard at you, but since in all probability I won’t know where you live, that is not a likely option. Therefore, such remarks will be removed, and their author(s) will be IP blocked if such behaviour continues. But! I know we are all going to play nice, aren’t we boys and girls? Oh yeah and, in the event that you know me – or probably more accurately think that you know me – any personally identifying information you leave about me, any of my life’s cast of characters or any anonymous writers that comment or are linked to here will be removed.

Furthermore, I take absolutely no responsibility for comments, links, opinions, rants, la la la posted by anyone other than myself. Don’t like it? Don’t comment.

I’m a Sell-Out Piece of Shit.

Yes. I’ve added ads to this blog. It sucks, I get it. I’ve sold out to monopolous corporations and so therefore I suck too. But honestly, this blog costs me money to run – US$90 every couple of years – and being the benefit scrounging tosser that I am, money is a commodity I sincerely lack. I ergo needed to do something to enable me to maintain Confessions for the foreseeable future, in the fashion to which both you and I have become accustomed.

I’m presently using a service called Clicksor for the ads. They mainly work in terms of banners, but you may see occasional “inline” links. These are clearly marked in blue, whereas my normal links are in red. If you see any ad – banner or inline – that you feel is inappropriate, please contact me and I will remove it at once.

And yeah, as an example of just how much I’ve sold-out to money rather than creative escapism, I’ve also added PayPal donation buttons to the site. They’re for the same reason as the ads: the blog’s continuing survival in a desolate financial climate, in a desolate financial household.

If you like Confessions, if you find some value in it, any PayPal donations would be strongly appreciated, and I thank any of you that send them in advance. As always, why you even read is beyond me, so any donation would be astonishingly wonderful. Thank you 🙂

That’s All Folks, You Can Go Back To Your Lives Now.

Erm…in short, if it’s good, I did it, if not – move along, nothing to see here. Again.

The end.