As I sat down to eat my first Pot Noodle of the day, I noticed two missed calls on my iPhone. The number was a local one, but not one I recognised. I suspected it might be my friends the Nexus Institute, but employed the services of DI Google just to make sure. DI Google was for once very ineffective, however, and thus is not securing his promotion to DCI Google just yet.
I bit the bullet and rang the number back, a mere 15 minutes previous to the time of this writing. An English bloke answer, with an opening salutation of, “Hello, Nexus?” this proving my suspicions to be correct. I explained my missed calls and earlier discussion with NLTWFN and English Bloke went off to see what I was wanted for.
English Bloke was away from the accursed evil that is his telephonic device for approximately two minutes, and then returned telling me that an assessment appointment had been scheduled for me for 1.30pm today! That’s in just over an hour! I was taken aback by this, but after thinking for a few seconds I confirmed to English Bloke that I would be in attendance.
English Bloke said, “the appointment is actually with me. You don’t mind talking to a man, do you?”
Um…NO! This is a win, indeed. I told him that I had no such difficulties.
“OK,” he replied. My name is P. I look forward to seeing you.”
“Likewise,” I said, and we exchanged goodbyes and rang off.
But seriously…fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk! Talk about shitting oneself. I can’t imagine how I’ll even breathe on the way over there. In fact, I had better leave soon to ensure that my parking neuroses have ample time with which to be dealt. Oh God oh God oh God. I have no one to hold my hand this time. Fuck!
It is now 12.20pm. I have an hour. Wish me luck!