The Computer

In the beginning, the computer functioned normally and efficiently. Although there were some malicious attacks directed against it, its firewall initially worked well, deflecting some and making sure the worst of the others was hidden deep in the computer’s hard-drive. The computer was responsive, hard-working and quick to process all tasks that it was assigned. [...]

This entry is part 3 of 3 in the series Perspectives from the Mentalist's Partner

Apologies for the delay in the third post in this series; we had something of a disrupted week last week and last night represented A’s first chance to explore these issues. In this post, we’re talking about the direct impact on him of my illnesses, history of trauma and current treatments. Q: On a day [...]

So.  Did I use this session to progress matters related to Paedo?  As if.  I was completely crap.  As ever C defended me on the grounds that sessions are co-constructs, and he claims that he is culpable for any time-wasting too.  But I don’t think he is – or at least he wasn’t on this [...]

Given the kind of material I’ve been writing about recently, I thought I’d make note of these stories that I found on the website Child Abuse Effects.  None of the three are exactly revelatory, but they do highlight issues I’ve had in my own experiences, and they acutely remind one that one is not alone [...]

I’m still not convinced.  I had the audacity to lay into my mother yesterday, in part about the sex abuse of which I speak, yet I am still not convinced.  How can these flashbacks of rape, sexual assault, indecent exposure and whatnot be correct?  I accept that in traumatic circumstances, people (particularly children) are known [...]

I saw my consultant psychiatrist, NewVCB, for the second time this morning, an appointment that I’d been dreading for days.  Even though my first encounter with her back in January had gone without any significant hitch, and even though I had established on that occasion that she was not as formidably intimidating as OldVCB, I [...]

TRIGGER WARNING – If you hadn’t guessed from the title, this post contains a number of references to child sexual abuse in varying degrees of detail.  Please, please be careful if you think this material may trigger you.  Take care, Pan x I received a text message from my cousin Sarah early this afternoon to [...]

Recent conversations with C regarding my experiences of child sex abuse have been highly suggestive that there’s a lot more to what happened than that which is recalled in my forefront, conscious memory. In recent sessions, and outside them at times too, I keep getting flashbacks of incidents of which I’d not previously been aware, [...]