I am (barely) recovering, thanks to the chemical assistance of Diazepam, from the worst anxiety attack I’ve suffered in months. One minute I was sitting here minding my own business, the next I could barely breathe. What triggered it? It’s stupid, really. All that happened was that A decided he would clear out two big [...]
Just a quick post really (at least by my verbose standards). I’m not sure whether I’m actively seeking advice here or whether this will be rhetorical musing, but I’ll see where my fingers-to-the-keys take me. My mother rang me about 11am this morning, but I was suffering from a (fairly infrequent of late) Seroquel hangover, [...]
The stupid dissociation scales once again featured at the opening of my session with C on Thursday 6 May. After last week advising me that he intended to examine them in detail and discuss them with me at the end of this session, he had then changed his mind, admitting (subtly) that he was perhaps [...]
Over the weekend and today I’ve been cracking up completely (yeah, I know, <insert standard comment about it ‘being a bit late for that’ here>), and losing pieces of what fragile sanity I have left little by little. I posted the other day about how ‘They’ were plaguing me with their bile mantras emphasising my [...]
I did a bit of acting as a child. If I hadn’t gone doolally as a teenager, or come to weigh 10,000 stone in my adulthood, it would have been the ideal profession; I am very, very good at it, and employ it in nearly all aspects of my normal living. Yesterday, aside from my [...]
I don’t know how to start this entry. I just wrote two paragraphs of completely pointless drivel that appears to have been designed to avoid getting to the point. It’s not that I found myself to be particularly upset at any juncture during the session that this post details, but there were so many gruesome [...]
…Almost literally? Designed using Wordle. Not the best evening I’ve had. Cannot stop ruminating, as the above probably attests. Alas.
*** TRIGGER WARNING *** This goes into much more specific and disturbing detail than my last post of this nature. Please, please take care in reading this. If you’re in any doubt about how much you may or may not be triggered, click here instead. P. xxx Earlier, bourach at Conversations with my Head wrote [...]
Given the kind of material I’ve been writing about recently, I thought I’d make note of these stories that I found on the website Child Abuse Effects. None of the three are exactly revelatory, but they do highlight issues I’ve had in my own experiences, and they acutely remind one that one is not alone [...]
I’m still not convinced. I had the audacity to lay into my mother yesterday, in part about the sex abuse of which I speak, yet I am still not convinced. How can these flashbacks of rape, sexual assault, indecent exposure and whatnot be correct? I accept that in traumatic circumstances, people (particularly children) are known [...]
I often get the impression that my mother relives her experiences of domestic violence at the hands of my father vicariously through me. I don’t mean that in the sense that she necessarily has visions of me knocking seven bells out of her, or that she sees my face when she recalls violent incidents, but [...]
Follow Follow Tweet Tweet 
An Anti-Social’s Social Networks