I saw my consultant psychiatrist, NewVCB, for the second time this morning, an appointment that I’d been dreading for days.  Even though my first encounter with her back in January had gone without any significant hitch, and even though I had established on that occasion that she was not as formidably intimidating as OldVCB, I [...]

TRIGGER WARNING – If you hadn’t guessed from the title, this post contains a number of references to child sexual abuse in varying degrees of detail.  Please, please be careful if you think this material may trigger you.  Take care, Pan x
I received a text message from my cousin SMcF early this afternoon to report [...]

Recent conversations with C regarding my experiences of child sex abuse have been highly suggestive that there’s a lot more to what happened than that which is recalled in my forefront, conscious memory. In recent sessions, and outside them at times too, I keep getting flashbacks of incidents of which I’d not previously been [...]

In response to this.  See also this update.  I have corrected a few minors errors in the author’s writing and have, as you will see, provided (italicised) annotated notes of the most rational and considered variety.  *cough*
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Dear Pandora
Advocacy in Accessing Mental Health Services
Thank you for your letter dated 17 December 2009 about accessing our mental [...]

Most of my regular readers probably saw my disgusted rant yesterday about the recent BBC documentary, Why Did You Kill My Dad?.  Most of those with whom I communicate online regarding mental health have very strong views against this programme, which is unsurprising as – forgive my repetition – it was biased, unfair and stigma-inducing.  [...]

Last year, the Beeb produced an appalling episode of its long-running Panorama show on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, strongly inferring that the only people who would genuinely be afflicted with the disorder were soldiers traumatised by battle.  As the title of the documentary – The Trauma Industry – suggested, the central tenet of the program was [...]

I’ve made a few references to the relative anonymity of this blog in recent posts (here and here) and decided I would explore it more. I know many bloggers here in the madosphere write anonymously in order that they may reveal their deepest, darkest thoughts with complete impunity; for example, Bippidee gave a very [...]

Week 42.  Week 42.  How can this be?  I look back through this journal, and see prose referencing sessions as far back as week 10.  I read through said posts, and remember clearly the discussions, the facial expressions, the tones of voice to which I have alluded.  It all seems like yesterday.  How did we [...]

Things were so much improved on Thursday from what they had been the week before.  I think C’s mood and / or attitude was better than it had been, and I was feeling considerably more sane than I have of late, so between the two of us, the whole session felt a lot more productive.  [...]

So.  After the misery of January and the earlier part of this month, I had thought that things were beginning to find more of an even keel.  That perhaps the Quetiapine / Venlafaxine ( / psychotherapy?) combination might be starting to yield some results.  My motivation is still shockingly low, but my mood is higher [...]