I don’t know what to write. I can’t write anything meaningful, but I wanted to write something. Things seemed better for a while last week (apart from Tuesday evening), and I thought I’d mostly gotten over the adjustment to my increased dose of Venlafaxine. Indeed I was back on my normal daily dose of Quetiapine [...]
Yet another day with two posts. Sorry. In short, she is better than her predecessor, though as W said to me this morning, she could hardly be much worse. In fairness to OldVCB, I had come round to her a little before our relationship was severed, but nevertheless, I am not exactly sorry to see [...]
Wasn’t it 1992 that the Queen said was her annus horribilis? Well, let’s fast forward 17 years to now, New Year’s Eve, 2009. This year has turned out to be the annus horribilis of your humble narrator – mostly. I’ve been on the brink of sectioning on a number of occasions, the brink of suicide [...]
It’s funny how really small things in therapy catch your attention sometimes. Today, he called me by my name at one point, which he never does except to call me in from the waiting room. I also noticed him bring out a bottle of still water from his briefcase at one point, which struck me [...]
I don’t hate this bizarre relationship because I hate C – quite the opposite today, as it happens, but I’ll get to that later. What I hate is the power this one individual can have over me; he has the power to make me go about smiling, or, alternatively, to leave his office seriously contemplating [...]
I’ve mentioned the voice quite a bit lately, but I haven’t really gone into any detail about it. Largely, that’s because there’s not really a great deal about him to discuss. Still, I thought I’d make my best effort, as quite clearly hearing voices represents psychosis (or at least something odd), which clearly does not [...]
Of course, almost by definition, being on holiday is not normality. It is a break from it, a break from the humdrum everyday mundanity that is the rat-race in which most of us here in the West have to engage (or not if you’re a dolescum like me, but anyhow), not an experience we can [...]
As you know, I’ve been on holiday, and as you also know, I promised I would go into more detail about the three mental health appointments I had in the days that preceded my departure. I had started this post well before going to Turkey, but despite my claim that I’d finish it on the [...]
Come to Turkey, and drink some of this: I was totally manic yesterday, and no doubt this Turkish coffee will induce more of the same, but it’s just so good. A asked me at the airport yesterday if I was on drugs, such was my mania. Then he laughed at me. People around us were [...]
Merhaba arkada?, Wow-ee, w00t, I’m a rockstar on tour. Or not. I’m going on holiday tomorrow. There is an inherent irony in heading to a mainly Islamic country (Türkiye Cumhuriyeti) on the anniversary of the World Trade Centre attacks, so much so apparently that the travel agents had tomorrow’s departure at a good bit cheaper than [...]
Saw a new Senior House Officer, Dr A, who listened to how things had been and asked me to explain various specifics. After 20 minutes, she summarised things – missing a lot of points in my view, but I couldn’t be arsed arguing – then went to see Dr C. Dr A said either she [...]
C didn’t believe me when I told him this, but prior to Thursday’s session, I had had no more than about five hours’ sleep in the preceding three weeks. I believe that for a while I’ve been in something of a hypomanic state; my experiences have included racing thoughts, restlessness, insomnia even whilst on sleeping [...]
I had what I felt was a really good session with C on Thursday. That, to me, seems like an odd thing to say, as the best I’ve had to say upon departure in the past is that it ‘wasn’t bad’ or some such, but I actually left the other day feeling very positive about [...]
The below is a list of symptoms that I have experienced since starting to take Venlafaxine (75mg) from 15 June. It is redacted in places, for either personal reasons or to help the ‘flow’ of this post, but essentially this is from a list I have been maintaining with the intention of showing Dr C [...]
For a variety of reasons I simply haven’t had the opportunity to blog about my most recent session with C to date, so, with it now being the septiversary of our last meeting, it seems appropriate to try and do it now before my memory of the meeting dwindles further. Last week was weird, because [...]
I have noticed a pattern of behaviour in myself of late that follows the rules of attacking someone (verbally), defending myself for said attack and/or against their perceived attack on me and then becoming submissive to said person in the form of apology or begging them not to desert me. This was evident to some [...]
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