First Signs are a UK-based charitable organisation devoted to the prevention, or at least the minimisation of, self-harm. Whilst as regular readers of this blog will know, I don’t really see the big issue with (controlled) self-harm, I can and do admire the work that FS are undertaking. If nothing else, at least they’re raising [...]
It’s funny how really small things in therapy catch your attention sometimes. Today, he called me by my name at one point, which he never does except to call me in from the waiting room. I also noticed him bring out a bottle of still water from his briefcase at one point, which struck me [...]
As you know, I’ve been on holiday, and as you also know, I promised I would go into more detail about the three mental health appointments I had in the days that preceded my departure. I had started this post well before going to Turkey, but despite my claim that I’d finish it on the [...]
C didn’t believe me when I told him this, but prior to Thursday’s session, I had had no more than about five hours’ sleep in the preceding three weeks. I believe that for a while I’ve been in something of a hypomanic state; my experiences have included racing thoughts, restlessness, insomnia even whilst on sleeping [...]
As any of you who have read this blog since I began it in May will know, it has long since been my intention to write about each of the different therapists of one description or another that I’ve seen over the years. The idea was inspired by the same type of post by Introspective [...]
I had what I felt was a really good session with C on Thursday. That, to me, seems like an odd thing to say, as the best I’ve had to say upon departure in the past is that it ‘wasn’t bad’ or some such, but I actually left the other day feeling very positive about [...]
For a variety of reasons I simply haven’t had the opportunity to blog about my most recent session with C to date, so, with it now being the septiversary of our last meeting, it seems appropriate to try and do it now before my memory of the meeting dwindles further. Last week was weird, because [...]
Today sucks ram and ass bollocks. My range of happy experiences since last night are the delightful following: The fabulous agitated depression * Severe depersonalisation Paranoia Anxiety (of course) Insomnia (what a surprise) Racing and disjointed thoughts (related to, or a symptom of, the agitated depression, naturally) Physical restlessness – rocking back and forth, desire [...]
One of Dr C‘s minions phoned yesterday to report that an appointment has been made for me this Friday at 9.30am. Aside from being frightened of nasty Dr C and the possibility of yet another panel interview-esque meeting with her and Dr N, I am kind of angry. I was referred to a psychiatrist in [...]
I started writing the below on Thursday straight after C, but completely lost momentum at the bit where I was talking about telling C about my iPhone mood tracking from Tuesday. I intended to write more on Friday, but that most horrible and frightening of things, real life, interfered. On Thursday night, I received word [...]
Last night, I had my first real episode of (negative) mania and loss of lucidity since the birthday party incident. Well, strictly speaking it was this morning – shortly after 2.30am, during a fairly typical night of insomnia. I was in a frenzy, though the physical manifestations of it can’t have been that strong, as [...]
After my epic rant about Georgie and her familial cunts on Wednesday night / Thursday morning, I spent some time trying to calm myself by re-reading the DBT material from C. It wasn’t so much about finding coping techniques to deal with my anger, but I needed something tangible to distract myself, and since I [...]
ScumFan McF phoned me this morning to advise that he had passed his driving test. He is 19. Generally ScumFan and I get along well and always have done. I was genuinely delighted for him. But could I just have been pleased for him? Oh nooooooo. What would be the fun in that?! My narcissism [...]
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