apathy » Confessions of a Serial Insomniac

The Computer

Moods, Random, Traumatic Stuff 20 Responses »

29 Jul2010

In the beginning, the computer functioned normally and efficiently. Although there were some malicious attacks directed against it, its firewall initially worked well, deflecting some and making sure the worst of the others was hidden deep in the computer’s hard-drive. The computer was responsive, hard-working and quick to process all tasks that it was assigned. [...]

I Hate This Blog

C, Moods 10 Responses »

28 Jul2010

Well…I don’t really hate this blog. As I’ve said several times, it is in fact my pride and joy – or, at least, what has gone before has made up what I call my pride and joy. I don’t feel very proud or very joyful at the minute, though it’s not the blog’s fault, obviously; [...]

An Existence, Not a Life

Moods, Triggers 25 Responses »

13 Jul2010

I want to smash my face in. I’m absolutely useless. I keep going to write ‘proper’ posts here (I still have two about therapy to catch up with, plus others), but I manage to throw 50 words onto the page, realise they’re all bollocks, get distracted and then mentally scream, “fuck it,” and abandon the [...]

Words Are All I Have

C, Moods, Triggers 16 Responses »

07 Jul2010

I have been trying to review last week’s session with C in my usual detail, but I’ve had a very stressful day (gruesome CAB appointment, and much Disraeli trouble ) and that, coupled with my ungraciously low mood and lethargy of late, has left me weak and defeated. I’m going to eat and try writing [...]

The Whining Topics

H P Lovecraft: Telling It Like It Is

Frankly, I cannot conceive how any thoughtful man can really be happy. There is really nothing in the universe to live for, and unless one can dismiss thought and speculation from his mind, he is liable to be engulfed by the very immensity of creation.

Life is a hideous thing, and from the background behind what we know of it peer daemoniacal hints of truth which make it sometimes a thousandfold more hideous. Science, already oppressive with its shocking revelations, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species -- if separate species we be -- for its reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world.