TRIGGER WARNING – If you hadn’t guessed from the title, this post contains a number of references to child sexual abuse in varying degrees of detail.  Please, please be careful if you think this material may trigger you.  Take care, Pan x
I received a text message from my cousin SMcF early this afternoon to report [...]

So.  After the misery of January and the earlier part of this month, I had thought that things were beginning to find more of an even keel.  That perhaps the Quetiapine / Venlafaxine ( / psychotherapy?) combination might be starting to yield some results.  My motivation is still shockingly low, but my mood is higher [...]

Apparently I wrote this epic gem of a post on Thursday, post-C. It reminds me of a diatribe that A wrote to his friend W whilst in the early, very bleak years of his long university career:
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck it all,
My fucking life.
Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck it all,
My fucking dick.
Here is [...]

Thanks, anti-psychotics.  You’re doing a fabulous job.  I’m still actively suicidal, fighting every second not to give in to my overwhelming desire to top myself, and now, as well as hearing ‘They’, I’m seeing fucking gnomes walking down the street, and strange shapes floating past my direct vision.
The gnome ignored me, like.  It just walked [...]

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Even though it’s just a litany of whining misery and suicidal self-hatred, I’ve really become rather fond of this blog. I’ve certainly put a lot of work into both its content and, since the move to a self-hosted Wordpress domain, its aesthetics. I even invested money in moving it to its own domain, [...]

*** STANDARD TRIGGER WARNING: POSSIBLY TRIGGERING MATERIAL IS UPCOMING; I HEREBY ADVISE YOU AGAINST READING IT IF YOU FEEL THAT IT MAY SET YOU OFF…BUT I KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO READ IT ANYWAY, SO THAT’S A BIT POINTLESS, BUT I PROBABLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE I LIKE EVERYONE THAT I KNOW READS THIS DRIVEL, SO PLEASE [...]

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Thursday was the first day back to therapy after C’s Christmas break.  It was a successful session in a long-term sort of way, but was nevertheless very traumatic for me, tackling as it did a lot of hurt and vulnerabilities that I don’t want to face nor admit to.  There was nothing specific that was [...]

The week before Christmas, I had to see a GP that I don’t normally attend, owing to the fact that LGP is so popular that I couldn’t get an appointment with him. The appointment was mainly to confirm the diagnosis of IBS, given as I had a number of blood tests to rule out [...]