Further to my letter of 3 August 2010 [wherein he acknowledged his failure to reply to the letter first linked above, not replicated here], I am now in a position to respond to your detailed letter [ie. the one to my MP and friends] outlining the background to your situation and the treatment received from our Trust. I am sorry that it has fallen short of your expectations and that you feel that the progress initially made with [C] has not been sustained.
As indicated in my letter of 12 May 2010* the provision of specialist services for people with personality disorder is at an early stage of development in Trusts across Northern Ireland. The [my] Trust did receive some additional funding last year towards such services and we have appointed a dedicated practitioner**. The major focus of our approach in using this practitioner is to provide training and support to generic services both in-patient and in the community to improve their capacity to support people with a personality disorder***.
Within the generic mental health services we make every attempt to match individual client need to an appropriate level of intervention within the resources that are available to us. With regard to your situation, [C] made a clinical judgement that was endorsed by his clinical supervisor to offer a treatment package consisting of weekly appointments and I am advised**** that early on you were given information about session numbers and therapy end point. This was to establish clear boundaries to treatment facilitate the working through of any concerns that ending therapy might arise, and prepare for any potential transfer to CMHT colleagues. This has resulted in the delivery of a package of assessment and treatment over an 18 month period******. During that time it was recognised that you could benefit from further support and this will be in place when your sessions with [C] come to a close*******.
Given these inputs from our services the Trust believes that it is appropriate that this phase of your treatment is brought to a conclusion. However through close working between the psychological therapies service and the CMHT it is planned that the work done with [C] will be incorporated into, the ongoing support from the team******.
The Trust is continuing to work on developing services for people with personality disorders as resources become available. Thank you for your offer to provide service user input to this service development, which we will be in contact with you about in the future, and we appreciate your support with this.
For Mr Chief Executive
Copy to: Michael McGimpsey [NI Health Minister] and my MP
I have tried to retain in the above replication the multifarious punctuation and grammatical errors, though I’m sure some have slipped past me.
* Yes, I know: I did receive your letter of 12 May, after all. Why are you repeating your self? I am mentally ill, not fucking braindead.
** Wow, a whole practitioner?!!!1!!11!!!!eleven!!!one!!!!three!!!26!!!! He or she will indubitably serve thousands of people quite eminently fabulously by themselves!
*** Jargon designed to confuse, Mr D-P. But what you are, in essence, saying is that your appointment of this individual is already failing, because generic mental health services are apparently fucking scared of people with ‘personality disorder’ and thus do not seem to want to bother to treat them. C admitted to me in one of the sessions about which I have not written that I was at least in part being discharged because of my wanky diagnosis of borderline – “the service cant continue to fund personality disorders,” apparently. This is clearly a fail. What a surprise.
**** You were advised incorrectly in that case. C and I always worked on rolling contracts – until Christmas anyway – so there was no way that I could have been advised “early on” even in a vague sort of way about treatment ending.
***** This is incorrect. I had a total of, I think, 63 sessions with C. That equates to just under 15 months. One year and 11 weeks.
****** Who? My sessions with C have already ‘come to a close’ and I am not in receipt of ‘further support’. None at all. Admittedly, NewVCB and I agreed that a CPN or mental health social worker was essentially pointless in a case like mine, but the point is that Mr D-P either doesn’t know or doesn’t care (or, in all likelihood, both) about the accuracy of his claims. So he may say that ‘further support [would] be in place’ when things with C ended, and that ‘through close working between…psychological therapies…and the CMHT it is planned that work done…will be incorporated into ongoing support from the team’, but this would be (and is, obviously) absolutely untrue. His blatant fallacies (or at least ignorance) are, of course, to my considerable advantage: he has been caught in the throes of an outright lie on paper
- I note with interest his failure to acknowledge that NewVCB, my consultant fucking psychiatrist, railed against the end of therapy at what she (and I) perceived to be such an early state. C and his ‘clinical supervisor’ apparently therefore actively ignored direct, consultative medical advice, but of course Mr D-P wouldn’t like to admit to this. Well, that’s OK with me. His lie-by-omission will be openly highlighted in my response to my MP and Michael McGimpsey. Mr D-P had better not say this is a borderline manipulation of the truth or something, because let’s just say that I have evidence that NewVCB’s disapproval of C’s actions is absolutely factual.
- As usual Mr D-P completely ignores my references to complex post-traumatic stress disorder and my retraumatisation at the hands of C. ’Progress initially made…[having] not been sustained’ merely suggests I’m mildly annoyed – perhaps not much better, but not much worse either – and does not in any way, shape or form grasp the levels of trauma that psychotherapy at the shocking mercy of his Trust has put me through.
- What is really galling, what is really really fucking galling, is that he has completely ignored everything that I had written about my frankly appalling experiences within the health service prior to my meeting C. About how I was pushed from pillar to post. Regarded with open disdain. Left in the lurch with no support by resigning members of staff. Referrals not being made. Referrals that were made then being ignored by those to whom they were made. Over the course of 12 fucking years. 12 years! So many of them formative ones at that! No wonder I’m a complete fuck-up at the age of fucking 27! He doesn’t care about any of it despite the possibility that (as pointed out to him), if I had received adequate treatment back then, I might have been reasonably well recovered by now, and functioning as a normal member of fucking society – ergo topping up his own bastard of a salary with 11% of my own earnings. He doesn’t have to be altruistic about it; it would have been in his own best fucking interests. Regardless, does he actually think that is acceptable? Remotely acceptable? Does he think that is an adequate response from the NHS to serious, life-threatening health concerns?
- There was something else about which I wanted to rant but in the course of the rage of the last point I’ve forgotten what it was. I will add it in the comments later if I remember.
Now. Is it time to craft my reply? Or just relax and work on it with A tonight? And is it too early for red wine? Red wine and a Pot Noodle, methinks. With extra burning hot chillis. Oh yes.
Cunts. One and all!