Comments on: Weekend Batshit Craziness

By: Serial Insomniac

Serial Insomniac — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 23:25:14 +0000

Please don’t apologise; the fact that you care at all means an awful lot, it doesn’t matter when you express it!

Thank you so much for your ever-kind and reassuring words. It is a huge comfort to know that people do care I just need to try and remind myself of it every so often I suppose!

Thanks again Phil. Take care of yourself: sending love abd hugs back at you xxx

By: Phil Groom

Phil Groom — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:16:41 +0000

Completely lost for words, only sorry I didn’t spot this sooner, and like bourach want to offer you the biggest hug ever. So sorry to see you going through this hell: sending much love and more to both you and A.

… and so very, very glad you didn’t manage to hang yourself! Please don’t; and in the midst of all your self-hate maybe, somehow, you can hold on to the fact that there are people out here who love you, unconditionally. bourach’s right, you know: you’re a good thing.

By: Serial Insomniac

Serial Insomniac — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 17:28:23 +0000

Thank you hun. For what it’s worth I wish I could give you the biggest hug too, because what you’re going through yourself is just hideous. I wish I could make it disappear. I always feel guilty for whinging because I’m not experiencing something as awful as what you are. Sorry, that’s whinging in itself :-/

Anyway, I totally get the guilt. It has no outlet, yet it’s overwhelming. It sucks. A is a star, and I feel like such a bastard for not fully appreciating that and just inflicting further misery on him. I get your dichotomies on this too. On the one hand, I hate that he sees this and really think it would be better for me to go away, at least in the short-term. On the other, I would be so lonely and miserable without him too. Life is empty enough as it is without the elimination of him.

Anyway, I’m whining again, I’m sorry. You take care darling. I hope you can work something out, but I can’t imagine how awful things must be in the meantime.

Big hugs and love xxx

By: bourach

bourach — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:52:51 +0000

Oh sweetie,

I just want to give you the biggest hug in the world and make everything better. I so wish I could. It sounds somewhat that you were doing the same sort of stuff I was when I ended up going mental and being signed off (just typed ‘signed odd’ which works too). The self destruction that you can’t prevent or do anything about because you don’t know it’s going on. Then having to deal with the aftermath. It’s so fucking frustrating because I want to destroy myself so how dare my mental mind not allow me the full experience of destroying myself. Madness is so frustrating.

The aftermath of something like that is horrible. The pain without the destruction and the guilt. The overwhelming horrible guilt. In some ways I’m glad I live alone because I have’nt’ hurt someone else but others I just wish there was someone else. Your A sounds a star.

I don’t know about dealing with families – my own are too much to deal with but take your time deciding sweetie.

Please take care of yourself, as I said before – you’re a good thing.

Hugsxxx